a pretty green
maybe just the ends or maybe to piss off my parents i’ll go the whole nine yards
i won’t ever text my friends twice before they respond and i’ll get out of the house more
shitty cvs dye will stain my fingers and everything they touch
and i’ll look in the mirror and feel like i’m not from here
like i’m not a girl who grew up spending too much time inside and making the mistake of wearing a rainbow bracelet in front of her parents
and we don’t do that around here
and i don’t do that anymore
i’ll be dead to them
that green will never come out of the carpet and it is blood on the floor and the walls that they’ll never be able to scrub away
i’ll be dead
emerald handprints mark the mirror and the walls and the bathtub and the floor
hitting the walls and clawing at the door but i will leave behind no gemstones when i go
i will spill my guts all over that bathroom and they will look at me in disgust
or painful obliviousness
i’ll text my friends again and ask to stay a night or five
nothing about me will say that i am from who i am from
do you realize what’s happening to me?
is that why you bought me cologne?
or did you just not see that it was cologne because you never care to read the bottle anyway
even if i beam shamrock you will smile at me and convince yourself
i am alive.
to you.